Greatest Rapper of All Time Senate Hearings Continue

WASHINGTON, May 23--Today the US Senate Committee to Determine the Greatest Rapper of All Time continued a week long debate that shows no signs it will be resolved.

Democrats opened the session with a diatribe from Joe Biden extolling the virtues of Jay-Z, saying "Jay has released so many classic compositions, from Reasonable Doubt to The Blueprint and The Black Album." Republicans were less than impressed with this, although Speaker John Boehner admitted that he may be one of the greatest alive, he stated that Jay-Z has put out too much filler and dumbed down his lyrics for commercial appeal, citing songs such as "Girls, Girls, Girls".

The Republican caucus was pushing for The Notorious B.I.G, advancing that his amazing flow and delivery put him over the top despite his limited output. The Republican front was not a united one, however, as Sally Kearn continues to champion Eminem and many affiliated with the Tea Party are pushing for Tupac Shakur to be considered. Ron Paul made a heartfelt speech about the great West Coast rappers as he complained they are being ignored in the debate.

The issue appears to have reached a standoff as Republicans in the House are threatening a Government shutdown unless a rider proclaiming Rakim as the "God of rap" is added to the Greatest Rapper of All Time bill. Democrats were initially considering the compromise but then President Obama broached the subject of Lil B and all the Republicans stood up and walked out of the room.


  1. Hahahahahaha that was fucking hilarious. Great post man, i guess that nobody will ever be satisfied with one rapper ruling. They're all so different in their methods though, its hard to compare.

  2. bahaha definitely Ice Cube

  3. I would pay huge sums of money to hear this read by Brian Williams

  4. haha really funny post. I thought I was watching c span for a second.

  5. lol, creative.....

    This is a pretty good read.

    I guess you can now relate rap to politics in another manner.

  6. Well Jay-Z has them with the money and all, but i still think that the best that ever was is Tupac..

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