IT has come to the attention of SkipHopz that famous Mexican rap singer "Immortal Technique" plans to assault our shores later this year. Our sea girt home will provide no protection against this angry boat man who intends to kidnap our women to work in his cocaine blunt rolling factories and assassinate our Governors General.

The shocking news was broken by the appearance of an internet page on Facebook. Mr Technique has proclaimed that he will stage a military coup/tour Australia once this page receives 5000 likes.

Australian immigration officials have not responded to my questions about whether Immortal Technique will be allowed into the country. Here are some important "facts" to keep in mind regarding Mr Technique (if that is his actual name?)
  • He once stood in the middle of a road causing a traffic jam with 5 buses just so he could take an admittedly amusing photo which has not been edited in any way
  • He enjoys Coke Zero, claiming it tastes a lot like Coke
  • His idea of a revolution is changing the scent of his Ambi Pur home fragrance
  • He refuses to deny that he went to jail for putting a scorpion inside a Kinder Surprise egg. What does he have to hide?
  • He once caused a big mess in the cereal aisle of a supermarket. It took me ages to clean up and I know it was him
One more thing to think about: How does he know so much about the illuminati if he isn't one of them?


  1. I recognise that album cover...

  2. If you knew anything about immortal technique's music you would know that you actually know nothing about him or what his songs mean, everything you just said above was actually retarded. Why don't you get your facts right system slave and while you're at it open your fucking eyes to what's happening to the world.

    It's about time technique came to our shores, we need it.

  3. Whoever posted this is a fucking idiot technique speeks the truth and it's time for us to wake the fuck up and open our eyes... Stop raping people of their freedom and humanity just cause your are stupid enough to be a brain washed clone... Wake up, now is the time for revolution...

  4. ? the hell is up with these uninformed,ignorant views? try googling his real name (its no secret) and listen to his music before u make these remarks (if u can even understand the meanings behind each song).

  5. Oh come on, guys, this post is obviously a joke

  6. Who ever posted this is a fucking dumbass! We need more rappers like Immortal Technique! Fuck that Lil Wayne shit the generations listen to nowadays! wake up to the truth motherfuckers! Technique's words damage and slaughter!Just like outrages alcholics like the president's daughter!

  7. Fuck tha system! Fuck the idiots going out of there own way for bullshit like this. Go suck a fat one!.

    1. fuck you anonymous. hiding behind a screen name...say that shit offline to me and see what happens

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