Torcha's dad said hip hop was gonna die in 1988. What if he was right???
HIP HOP TIMELINES: AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE
KRS One champions the cause of long dead industrialist Jordan L. Mott from
the South Bronx who invented a type of coal-fired cast-iron stove, he
to loudly remind everyone that he was not from Queensbridge
"Nobody beats The Biz!" is the slogan of Biz Markie's short-lived used car dealership
Lemonade sales reach an all-time low, millions unemployed as factories close and the economy collapses in the 'Great Fizzy Yellow Depression'
People suspect those House of Pain guys might be Irish but there is no way of telling for sure
MC Hammer is constantly complaining about how people keep touching him
Ice Cube receives a speeding ticket and later says to himself "Police can be quite annoying sometimes"
Critics attack Will Smith for his performance in Independence Day, asking "Cant this guy do ANYTHING else apart from act?"
DMX is pretty much just a normal guy. Ruff Ryding means something totally different.
A young Marshall Mathers creates a minor controversy by doing his job at a
local lumber mill with the mannerisms of a black person, several white kids start copying him
Nelly finishes his degree and moves to the country, becomes a grammar teacher
Bad Boy is not for life
A mime named Kanye West almost dies in a car accident, doctors amputate the lower half of his face
Born with no usable talents 50 Cent dies trying to get rich.
Jay-Z mysteriously becomes CEO of Microsoft for some reason. Hires Rhianna to be lead programmer on Windows Vista, puts Memphis Bleek
in charge of marketing and gets Benie Siegel for security. He will be fired 2 years later.
Madlib gets high and composes the weirdest opera ever
Nas quits his job at an accounting firm because his boss kept asking him to reproduce those amazing spreadsheets he made in 1994
Biggie Smalls buys Tupac an ipad for his birthday. Now he can watch Game of Thrones on the go