25.7.12

Rap Superstar Eminem Dead at 39

It is with a heavy heart that I inform readers of SKIP HOPZ DOT COM that The Global Daily is reporting Eminem to be dead.

According to early reports that are spreading via Twitter, Marshall Mathers was found dead after a suspected drug overdose. Some fans report a mysterious youtube video called "Free Trill" being uploaded by the rapper, but it has been deleted.

Many squatters, beatniks and adventurers have already descended on Eminem's estate and are holding an impromptu music festival and bonfire dedicated to the rapper Trill and his short but dramatic career, claiming "It's what Eminem would've wanted". A local fire department spokesperson was quoted saying "Those kids can do whatever they want, it's not like we can stop them. If they want to burn down Eminem's house that's their prerogative as citizens of our great country. But I think his family is still inside, oh well".

Researchers are unable to find out who 'Trill' is, or if he ever existed at all. Academic Bill Reynolds was at the scene, "These people see The Trill's imprisonment as a metaphor for all control systems, for all vampiric systems whether it be capital punishment, abuse of political power, police states, etc. If The Trill is a stimulus to your imagination, fine. Let your imagination be stimulated. We all have a Trill inside us. But you should not confuse metaphors and imaginative leaps with understanding; they may be a help to understanding, but then we await the understanding to make judgments. I think there's also plenty of reason for caution".

Goodnight, sweet prince #freeTrill

2 comments:

  1. Eminem is not dead!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bull...eminems still alive and rocking in 2013!!!

    ReplyDelete

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