Alien Planet Supports Life, All Manchester United Fans

NASA held a press conference today confirming that the Voyager space probe had crashed on a previously unknown planet 8.2 light years from earth. As the damaged probe beamed back scientific data and video it was revealed that the alien beings who inhabit this world are huge fans of English soccer team Manchester United.

Head scientist Dr. Waleed Abdalati admitted he was baffled at first. As soon as the spherical Voyager probe crashed it was picked up by one of the local inhabitants and carried to one of the many nearby soccer pitches where humanoid creatures took turns dribbling and kicking it into an empty net, in an imitation of Ryan Giggs' 'goal of the century'. The indigenous life forms of the planet 61 Vir B are similar to humans, the main physiological differences being a larger cranium, a single eye instead of two and an intense obsession with all things Manchester United.
The probe also recorded footage of the surrounding streets, which are all named after former Manchester United players. A row of solid gold statues depicting former United star Cristiano Ronaldo stands on a nearby piazza. Twice a day the alien beings will stop whatever they are doing and run to a nearby TV to observe the sacred Manchester United training session. The local culture is quite advanced, they even have their own version of the internet which is conducted through futuristic fax machines however it is mostly used for fantasy football and streaming Sky Sports and MUTV so they can watch every minute of Manchester United matches and revel in their victories, despite living 7.75763329 × 10^16 meters away from Old Trafford.

NASA experts are divided about the ramifications of this amazing discovery. Dr Abdalati pondered "Does this mean signals from Earth were received by this fledgeling species or could Manchester United's genetic material be carried through space on a meteorite, populating many planets in the universe like a dandelion seed floating on cosmic winds? It could also indicate that Manchester United is an inherent property of space-time itself, guaranteed to manifest itself wherever intelligent life is found."

The latest signals from Voyager have revealed that the locals are gearing up for the end of the season, preparing for the time when they must all become Los Angeles Lakers fans.

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